Memorable words spoken by kids at my shows, as reported, with great affection, by mr. RAY...

"mr. RAY. your nose got bigger!"
6 year old boy after not seeing me for almost a year

"Are you almost done?!"
A 5 year old boy asked me this only HALFWAY through
my performance at a private party!

"This is the last song, ok?"
same kid, same show! (ouch)

"mr. RAY, why do you always wear the same shoes?"
5 year old boy

"mr. RAY, why does your hair stick up all messy?"
me..."I just like it that way, honey."
"But it doesn't look nice!"
5 year old girl

"How come your hair's all sweaty, mr. RAY?"
4 year old boy

"Your hair used to stick up more, mr. RAY!"
5 year old girl after not seeing me for a few months

"You know, mr. RAY, I'm not always gonna think you're so
great, 'cause I'm getting older now and I may start to like older things!"
7 year old boy giving me a reality check.

"mr. RAY, I'm gonna hurry up and grow up,
get a guitar just like you, then marry you!
5 year old girl

"Hey mr. RAY, you wanna come over and watch Freewilly?"
3 year old boy

"HONEY? That's not her name, it's Melissa!"
4 year old girl

"I know what we play guitar with -- a TOOTHPICK!"
6 year old boy


"I know, I know! That round thing in the middle of
your guitar is called a SOUNDMOUTH!"
5 year old girl


"My Dad's REAL BIG...He'll beat you up fast if he wanted to!"
5 year old boy


"One time people with different skin couldn't go to the same school..."
4 year old boy

+++++++++++++

At the end of most of my shows, I ask some of the kids in the audience
what they want to be when they grow up.
Some of the more memorable replies:

"I want to be a DUMP TRUCK!"
a cute 4 year old girl

"I want to be a plastic surgeon!"
5 year old girl from East Brunswick NJ (or was it Short Hills?)

"I want to be a MAN!"
3 year old girl

"I want to be a MOTORCYCLE MAN!"
4 year old girl

"I want to be a cloud!"
4 year old girl

+++++++++++++

Misheard Kid Lyrics Dept.
Sometimes I ask kids to come up and sing a solo on the microphone.
These are actual renditions, sung with tender lovin' care....

"Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
how I wonder what you are
"Ba-ba-ba-the world so high...
like a diamond in the sky
NOW I KNOW MY ABC'S....
oooops...how does it go, mr. RAY???"

"Take me out to the ballgame,
take me out to the GAME,
Buy me some peanuts and APPLE jacks,
I don't care if you ever get back
'Cause it's roo, roo, roo for the HO-TEE
If they don't win it's a GAME,
For it's 1...2...3 strikes, you're out
at the old ballgame!"

"Take me out to the ballgame,
take me out to the CLOUD,
buy me some peanuty cracker jacks,
I don't care if we ever get back
For it's roo, roo, roo for the WHOLE TEAM,
If they don't win it's a GAME,
For it's 1...2...3 strikes you're out
at the old ballgame!"

"God bless America,
Land that I love,
stand beside me, and guide me
through the ? from the ? from ?
to the fairies, to the oceans,
to the oceans...WHY WITH FO?
God bless America, my home sweet home!"

"Row, row, row your boat
Jenny down the street,
Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary
life is 'bout a dream!"


"a b c d e f g, h i k k l m n o... B!
q r s t u... B! w x y and B!

"The Pitsy Pitsy Pider Pen up the Pawter Pout
Pound came the Pain and Pashed the Pider Pout..."